Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other.
"You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.
I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom,
I ease into bed – and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach.
I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet,
jump into bed, rub my hands on my wife's a** and say, 'How about a good lay?' ...and she's always sound asleep."
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